I’ve never really been a fan of MMORPGs, The reason being is that when you start one you are not just starting a game but entering a new community, but what if it wasn’t your first time in this world.. what if you where entering the world you grew up in..

Imagine it. The same game you grew up with but online. talking and battling with real people. talking to a stranger would bring up their profile, listing what Pokemon they’re carrying, their levels and how many gym badges they have earned and you could request a battle. And why stick to Kanto? fly over to Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh or Unova.. or catch the S.S Anne.

To me a Pokemon MMORPG seems really obvious and the only reason Nintendo hasn’t made one is for the purpous of keeping kids from talking to strangers.. But with the WiiU having some hardcore games, maybe Nintendo will turn over a new leaf and let it’s gamers talk to people without using a million digit friend code.

On the 21st of July 2007 I unashamably waited in line for hours for something that changed my life for ever. (and no I don’t mean some crappy apple product.) I’m talking about.. 

                                                   This.

And after a whole night of reading, I put to bed my childhood and decided to move on.. until I realised that there were still more films to come out, but even then I can’t quit on Harry Potter, It’s been a huge part of my life and so have the games. on my 11th I wasn’t approached by a half-giant, I was a little disapointed until my  parents gave me the first Harry potter game. I spent most of the day running around Hogwarts (much to the annoyance of my friends who I had invited around) exploring the castle’s secrets and casting spells.

Now wouldn’t it be badass to explore the world of Harry Potter online? get sorted into a house, make your avatar and roam the halls as a student. but you wouldn’t have to be confined to the grounds, why not take a broom over the forbidden forest? Go shopping with the girls at Diagon alley or have a bar-side..uh… wizard brawl in the Hog’s Head. With a bit of magic maybe some day we’ll see an official Harry Potter MMORPG.

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                        How Kairi holds the Key to Kingdom Heart’s future        

I’m not going to lie but when I first bought Kingdom Hearts I had a major crush on Kairi. I mean who wouldn’t, she’s every 11 year old boy’s dream. I spent hours playing through hours of the levels like Deep Jungle just to save her and the game made me think she was worth it.

And she sort of was.. back then but when Kingdom Hearts 2 arrived I was disapointed to find cute little sassy Kairi had bloomed into a pathetic princess type with a memory problem.

(Duuuhhhh Sora who?)

If that wasn’t bad enough as soon as she remembers you, BITCH GETS KIDNAPPED! After being saved once again pathetic Kairi is given a keyblade by Riku and patheticly flails it around at tiny heartless.. THIS DOES NOT MAKE UP FOR BEING KIDNAPPED FOR THE 10000TH TIME KAIRI!

So this is why I prepose that Kairi her sh*t together. If Xion and Aqua can manage to be badass, why not Kairi? I feel that if she carries on with her pathetic pasona, people won’t want to rescue her anymore, people may even lose intrest in the series.

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Ever since the release of Skyward sword, I’ve been wondering what it is that makes me keep coming back to the series, what is it that makes Zelda such a kick ass game? So I’m going to look back on what made my first Zelda experience so memorable. 

It was the 90s, the days of light up shoes and tamagotchis.. and I was lucky enough to have one of these 

             (and I got through more AA batteries than a twilight fan-girl)

And one lucky Christmas I recieved the greatest present of all. The legend of Zelda: Links Awakening. This game had everything, Swords, dungeons, one hell of a giant egg… and uhh… this bit.. 

The game wasn’t just a genius series of puzzles but it had you questioning the morality of the destruction of your enemies. Each boss battle would come with a stern warning that Link’s actions would have consequence for all that live on the island. Link’s morality is tested, this was also seen in this creepy as f*ck scene from twilight princess. 

This is something I want to see in Nintendo’s next Zelda game, Nothing makes a story stronger than a character over coming their demons. 

After beating Skyward sword I couldn’t help but feel that something was missing and it wasn’t until replaying Majora’s mask that I realised what it was. Skyward sword isn’t scary, not even a little.. unless you count seeing headmaster Gaebora having a bath. So What better way to bring back the dark side of Zelda than in beautiful HD? 

                                          (HEY, LISTEN!) 

YES NAVI I WAS GETTING THERE! Zelda HD needs a good sidekick that we actually care about. This is something else Skyward sword seemed to miss out on. I bloody hate Fi, I calculate that she has an 100% chance of pissing me off. Navi was annoying but at least she wasn’t a robot. What I want from Zelda HD is a character with human emotions like Midna, Linebek or the Ghost of Zelda. 

                                            Yeah bitch. 

The last thing I’m going to touch on is something I’ve noticed in the past few Zelda games. The japaneseness. I think Zelda should return to it’s roots and base it’s games on European and middle eastern mythology. In other words get rid of the snake-like dragons and bring back religious symbolism. 

Nobody finds games like assassin’s creed offensive, and that is bathed in the blood of religious leaders, so the odd cross or Islamic moon won’t offend but give the game a sense of an omnipotence, A higher power beyond the reach of the gamer. 

Zelda is a great game series but what Nintendo need to do to step up the game is pull the strengths of it’s previous games together.   

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It was 1998, I was 7 and my brother had just bought a Sega Saturn, we plugged that badboy into the TV I watched with anticipation as the TV’s static slowly blurred into my first glimpse of a horror game… and It looked like this…

(Okay, not that disturbing but there’s nothing more horrifying than a cheesy live action intro.)

But a few seconds into this game and I knew I was in for one hell of a ride, not only where the graphics bloody beautiful (no pun intended) But there was something that scared the bejesus out of me.. and that was before this bit had happened.

.

What set this game aside from others was it’s atmosphere. echoing voices, footsteps, the odd distant groan and above anything else SILENCE. 

 Now this is something that I hate about modern horror games, they feel that they have to build tension with music but Nothing sets a grimmer scene than your characters footsteps echoing ALONE. This made even the classic Tomb Raider spooky (even if you did have Lara’s triangle boobs to keep you company.)

So, what’s stopping modern horror games of being scary, surly the more powerful the console is the better the gaming experience would be right? WRONG. Classic 3d horror games would use the consoles limits to their advantage, whether it be the creepy loading-screen doors of resident evil, or the creepy “fog” covering Silent Hill. Furthermore When a zombie starts chasing you, there is nothing more worrying than not knowing how the F*ck to control your character

(How the hell do I use this thing!?)

In a panic your hands would spasm, you lose all your motor skills and the crappy controls made it all the more scary. 

Game designers these days seem to think that the way to make a good game is to make your character armed to the teeth, though this works for games like GTA it means I can’t take games like F.E.A.R seriously. Why the hell would I be scared of the ring girl when i’ve got a mother-f*cking machine gun!? Weapons should be sparse and harder to get a hold of than the queen’s underwear… not than I’ve been trying. 

Basically what I’m saying is in horror games more is less. There are a few modern horror games like the Gamecube’s Eternal Darkness that are decent but game companies really need to research into what made the classics classic. 

I’ve got the Elder Wand Bitches

Yeah, I think this’ll be the only photo of myself I upload to tumblr.

That’s ma dawg!